


That's Why

by Horndog333



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Honest Confession, M/M, Post 07x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 22:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8345740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Horndog333/pseuds/Horndog333
Summary: After his near-drowning incident with Alicia Brown, Steve has a talk with Danny.UPDATE 10/22/2016 NOW COMPLETE





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kho/gifts), [stellarmeadow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Legacy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167100) by [stellarmeadow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow). 



> This story is not betaed. I am writing it straight into the "Post New Work" section of AO3. After a discussion I read on Tumblr posted by Kho ("Love the Snark") and "Peggywiilliams," as well as Stellarmeadow's chapter 4 of "Legacy," I felt the need to get this idea off my chest before I lose motivation. Yes, like other writers, I am stalled on other WIP's. Oh well... 
> 
> I know nothing of surgery and post op procedures. Just setting up the story. 
> 
> I don't own the rights to any part of the series, Hawaii Five-O, except for my mad obsession for McDanno and my quest for a picture with Alex.

After a long harrowing day of near-death experience (again), Steve is back in a hospital bed. After a brief stint in surgery, flushing out the stab wound and stitching Steve back up, he is knocked out cold on IV painkillers and a broad spectrum antibiotic. The whole next day is lost to a well medicated sleep.  After all, Steve is not known for slowing down, rest or sleep.Two days after the incident, Steve is threading in and out of sleep. In one of his brief waking moments, he sees Danny sitting at the side of his bed, rubbing his hand gently. Squinting, he tries to see Danny more clearly. “Danny,” Steve mumbles. “ I thought you were in Jersey.”

 

“Yeah, well, I was until a certain Navy SEAL I know was stabbed, kidnapped and nearly drowned,” Danny responds irritably. He removes his hand from Steve’s to gently run his fingers through Steve’s hair. Steve leans into the touch, nearly purring at the feel of it. Danny’s look did not match his tone. His deep blue eyes look troubled and worried. “You’re not invincible you know,” Danny utters in a whisper as Steve drifts back to sleep.

 

**************************

 

Four days later, Steve is sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs on his private beach, staring out at the ocean. It was late afternoon as he sat listening to the sound of the waves when he heard the familiar roar of an engine stop out front. Danny walked back behind the house to settle into “his chair.”

 

“Hey, babe,” Danny says. “ I brought us a six-pack of large water bottles, seeing as we can’t have beer.”

 

“Thanks, Danno,” Steve says to him before turning back to look at the ocean.

 

“Why,” Danny starts, “why did you follow Alicia into the therapist’s house? You knew there was a strong possibility that she was a suspect. Why do you put yourself in harm’s way? Especially right after you nearly died less than a couple of months ago. Are you really that clueless that you walk right into the face of danger? Do you really think so little of yourself that you still go charging into situations without backup? You’re not invincible you know.”

 

“Yeah, Danny, I know I'm not invincible,” Steve says defensively.

 

“Your actions speak louder than words, and right now your actions tell me that you don't give a shit about the fact that I did everything I could to keep you alive, to save you. I could have landed in the water. I could have kept my liver. I could have shot and killed the guy that riddled your body with bullets in cold blood. Instead, I chose to save your ass.” Danny scowled.

 

“You wanna know why I do the things I do, Danno? “ Steve asks. Danny is stunned by a look Steve is giving him that he’s only seen once - when Steve was nearly beheaded. “It’s because I'm scared, really scared. My purpose as a Navy SEAL was to protect and serve my country. It's only a matter of time before I get medically discharged from the Navy. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a sense of direction or purpose.”

 

Danny cocked his head to one side utterly dumbfounded. “Steve,” Danny spoke with confusion in his tone, “of course you have a purpose. You are the leader of the Hawaii Five-O task force. We protect innocent citizens from harm and go after the criminals who need to be caught for their crimes.” Danny winces at his words  _(“Damn! Did that just sound like a superheroes speech,” Danny questions himself. “Maybe it's from watching too many superhero shows with Charlie.)_ and glares at Steve with concern. “You haven’t forgotten this, have you? Are you ok? What are you talking about? What’s REALLY going on?”

 

“Danny,” Steve replies in frustration, frowning and accentuating all his deep stress wrinkles. “What am I doing with 5-O? What am I really accomplishing? Danny, I wasn't trained to be a cop. We solve one case, catch the bad guys, live to see another day to chase another set of them, put them behind bars or kill them. I put my life, Kono’s, Chin’s, Lou’s and yours ESPECIALLY yours in danger every day. That doesn’t even take into account all the people that have personal vendettas against us. And for what?” Steve looks at Danny for an answer, but Danny remains silent. “I know how to lead a SEAL team into potentially dangerous territory. But our Ohana? I know every one of you intimately - your families, how you think, how you feel, your lives now and in the past. After the plane crash, I realized just how dangerous it is. I feel lost, Danny.” Danny put his hand on Steve’s back, rubbing it in gentle circles to provide comfort.

 

“Despite what you think, I am grateful for all you did to save me from the plane crash more than you’ll ever know,” Steve looks deeply into Danny’s eyes; his eyes full of pain and sadness. In the long run, where does all this get me? Get all of you? My body betrays me by not moving as quickly and agilely as it once did. I had to get a new body part from you only to survive and yet continue to go out there and do my job. In the end, what does it all mean? What legacy will I leave behind?”

 

Steve put his hands on Danny’s shoulders. “Why did you give me your liver? It hurts to fear and feel for what you did for me. That your decisions were made for my benefit and that YOU could have died. Where would that have left Gracie and Charlie?”

 

Danny looks at Steve for a moment and pulls Steve in for a hug. Steve takes his hands off of Danny’s shoulder and wraps them tightly around Danny’s waist. Steve puts his head sideways facing Danny’s shoulder. Steve holds him tighter and Danny can feel Steve’s body shake with his sobs. He takes one hand and places it on Steve’s back, rubbing gentle circles on it while continuing to hold him with his other hand. After a while, Danny feels Steve’s body relax and the sounds of sobbing get quieter. He loosens his hold gently and looks at Steve’s face. “I did it because I love you. I will do anything in my power to keep you alive. That’s why. That’s why I nag and rant at you. That’s why I get sarcastic and angry when I see you chasing after perps, scaling down floors and leaping from building to building. It isn't about you being careful with MY liver. I care about you. I worry even more now that I have seen how vulnerable you are.” Steve stares at Danny with his eyes wide in surprise at what he hears. He shakes his head with disbelief and aneurysm face appears.

 

“Seriously, Steve,” Danny says exasperated as he puts both his hands on the sides of Steve’s face. “Do you really think I would have risked everything in that plane and on the operating table for anyone other than you, Grace or Charlie, huh? “How about South Korea and Afghanistan TWICE? Even you couldn't believe I was in Afghanistan the first time! I risked the possibility of not coming back from those countries at the expense of Grace. Grace would have had Rachel and Stan. Then, there was England. Getting you out of Halawa. Frantically searching to find you when Wo Fat kidnapped you and finding your battered body in the basement of that laundromat. I wasn't even sure if you were alive. Danny starts counting and ticking off places and cases on his fingers. Osaka! Skydiving to rescue members of SEAL Team 6 or 9! Going off a balcony of that hotel! Falling over the cliff and finding a dead body! Towing a dinghy towards shore and nearly getting eaten by a shark! Watching that droid come after you and shooting you! Watching as you made yourself a moving target for that sniper to kill you with only MY car to protect you! Finally, the past couple of years or so when we have been going through our shit and choosing to take it out on each other - barbed words, harsh judgments, light hearted carguments turning into vicious arguments all to the point that the governor himself sent us to counseling! Chin even mentioned that we still needed more counseling! Not to forget ongoing, mandatory, annual counseling hours last year! We ended up in a "Couples Boot Camp" because you misread it and wanted an excuse to play hooky that weekend. I’m nearly out of fingers here. Honestly, would I have put up with this crumbling, toxic, competitive partnership if it were anyone else? NO!! I would have transferred back to HPD or taken the kids with me back to the mainland to Jersey or Vegas. No matter how close we are to ruining our friendship and partnership, I refuse to stop trying until you do. All of this,” Danny, nearly out of breath and red in the face, emphasizes his final point with a flourish, “I did because I love you and stubbornly refuse to live without you. I don't regret any of it since you came out of everything safe and alive. I don't want you to think that I am throwing all this at you via the "after I all this for you, you don't appreciate it" tone. I am merely mentioning all of it because you are worth all the risks. You are worth everything to me. Enough said,” Danny asks Steve.

 

“Um, yeah, enough said. You really mean all of it, don't you,” Steve asks.

 

“As much as you mean what you said. Honestly, I have never and couldn't have ever imagined hearing you say that much,” Danny says with shock, surprise and humor.

 

“I love you,” Steve says.

 

“I love you, too,” Danny says.

 

*****************

**_The following evening…_ **

 

Steve and Danny are lying on a blanket together down at Steve’s beach, watching the stars.

 

“Steve?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Remember all the things you said about your purpose going forward and your legacy?

 

“Umm hmm.”

 

“I don't have the answers, but do you think you'd be willing to see someone to talk things through? Do you think you'd be more at peace and happier if you did? I miss you being happy,” Danny rolled over to look directly at Steve’s face. “You have seemed so sad, irritable and angry since the surgery. I think you’ve finally gotten to your saturation point,” Danny says, love and concern reflecting in his eyes.”

 

“Yeah, I think it's time for me to get help. I think the surgery and its realities have taken a toll on me. I miss being happy with you, too.”

 

“Good,” Danny says, as he scoots closer to Steve. Danny rolls onto his back, resting his head near Steve's shoulder and on Steve’s chest. Danny sighs in relief as they cuddle close to look back at the stars. Danny feels more hopeful than he has ever been that Steve will be happy again soon.

 

**_The End._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the abrupt incomplete ending. Literally fell asleep on the tablet I was writing it on. I have no idea if it's worthless dribble or not. Why can't thoughts just fly on paper before we forget or get boggled down by other things? My brain is a sieve.
> 
> UPDATE  
> Next day - Saturday, October 22, 2016 5:25 PM (PST)  
> After dozing in and out of the day and doing Mom Taxi Duty, I am finally done with this story. Not betaed or proofed. Just spell checked. I changed it up a little since last night, then added the rest. Enjoy. Just a warning that Steve is a little (a lot) OOC in that he is very long winded talking about his feelings. Danny is, too, but I think it's a little more in character. It is a long winded drama-fest and my attempt to get the boys to confess just about everything to fix the last two seasons and this one. It didn't go quite the way I remember it. I hope it answers or responds to 
> 
> LOVE THE SNARK's conversation about Steve's change in personality this season  
> Stellarmeadow's Chapter 4 of Legacy  
> The mess that the past few seasons have been with regards to Steve and Danny's friendship and partnership. I haven't seen the chemistry since Season 4.  
> and Erienne1983 at Tumblr who posted this lovely poem:
> 
> Lock the doors  
> We’ll leave the world outside  
> All I’ve got to give to you  
> Are these five words tonight  
> Thank you for loving me  
> For being my eyes  
> When I couldn’t see  
> For parting my lips  
> When I couldn’t breathe  
> Thank you for loving me
> 
> I am giving credit to Kho and friends, Erienne 1983 and Stellarmeadow for any wording or story line that I may have taken from them.


End file.
